In church a few years ago, the pastor preached about losing people. He asked us to note down a bunch of friends, and to check that list a few years down the line. This was a sermon about destructive lifestyles..what he didn’t mention is that the list still goes down as some people you consider friends stop being so.
I see growing up like a process of awakening. I must have been really “heavy” in my early 20s. Carrying all that weight of pretence, insecurity, loneliness, fake friends, bad relationships, fear of missing out….Eventually with time, you shed it off. If you accept to grow up. If you start to let your past lessons build you into this strong person. Your painful past kinda becomes your armor. There is something amazing about discovering and learning yourself. Nobody can make you feel different about you when you are OK with you. And that confidence, that drive to be something great, comes with “weight loss.” You start to be more honest about your feelings, knowing you risk people walking out the door. You start to tame your anger, knowing your limits. You apologise more and start to see things in other people’s eyes. You learn. And in the process become amazingly attractive. You know what you want in life, no apologies. You don’t wait by the phone for the cute guy you met to call, you have a life and things to do. And when he calls you wait for the excitement of a new relationship to fade off, you know the real stuff happens after that. You realise the person you want to be and the people you want surrounding you, helping you be that person. You finally have the courage to tell your boss what you want. You start to plan checking off some of the things on your bucket list and the “weight” sheds off like free flowing water.
Friendships end/die for different reasons. And sometimes its just a time thing. You no longer want the same things. Which is fine. Sometimes we just get tired of pretending and smiling. I remember once feeling like screaming! I was smiling and laughing yet in my head WTF had a permanent residence. I was a fake. I couldn’t pull it off all my life. And sometimes friendships don’t die, but we go different ways. We are no longer bound by a crowd but we are strong individually. Pursuing different things. And its OK. Later we meet and chat about our experiences, say our goodbyes and move on only to meet years later.
Am I the strongest I have ever been?
Yes.
Does it get better?
I believe so. I am lighter, running faster and with a strong support system .
Weighed yourself recently?
Lets talk 