Done

fragile is this bond

built by two, by choice

shallow emotions overshadow it

but respect binds the links

yet how fragile it is

like dropping a porcelain

not a comma, but the full stop

its done.

of emotional storms

Sometimes, once in a while, there is a low overwhelming feeling that finds refuge in your heart. Once in a while, just like when you don’t have enough blood sugar, like when you need to sit down and catch a break, we fall. Through this ocean we call life, climates change. The tides overwhelm even the most optimistic and hardworking. You get into a place where you stop fighting back, and embrace the painful whip of life. The sadness, the regrets, the flaws. You open yourself to a bashing of self. You think of the things you do not have that you want, especially the ones that haunt you in your dreams. You overwhelm yourself with memories of someone lost, someone gone forever. You allow yourself to feel it, deep down. And you cry.

Morning comes with sunrise, another day. With a whiplash of emotions, you carry on. The storm is over.

Truly, Jem.

Short Poem by Gideon Wainaina

Words remain unspoken,

feelings bottled up at the bottom of the ocean,

the tunes run deeper into my mind than the roots of my hair,

art comes to life on silent solemn nights with cities lit up.

Finesse from the boulevard off Miami beach almost like chasing mavericks,

simple yet so confusing how she runs her fingers through her hair,

art lives in the souls of men who are dimmed liberal but see the beauty in their cause.

Mr.x

I see him every morning walking to work.

I drive, he walks.

Our paths cross daily but I only see him

he has no idea

my existence is beyond a blur

does he sense it? the eyes watching

saw him today, as usual

this time with gloves on

its a chilly morning, and that used to be me

he walks with assurance

he takes his time, marks his steps

almost like he thinks about it before

mr.x

our paths cross daily

and he has no idea I exist.

The crazies…..

How is it that someone can get you upset and happy so easily even without them knowing they have? Am i inlove? or did i just get comfortable with this feeling, with us? did i get lost in the idea of us even if it never came to pass? am i foolishly holding onto you even though you havent made any effort to bind me to you? or am i just crazy?

 I would imagine crazy would feel kinda like this. I am fully aware of those lustful feelings, the ones that fade or are easily distracted. This is different. This is me standing next to you, all the time. This is us in my imagination, in one place but still ending up taking different routes.Crazy doesnt seem like a far fetched diagnosis. Thoughts of loss of me scare me.

The body might seem as one, but mind and heart are two different entities. My mind might be fighting for my sanity, but my heart favours you. You’re winning in a battle you did not choose. You’re gaining a gift you do not even want.

I am crazy!

of Hip Hop

 I recently re-watched Brown Sugar for the one too many times this weekend. Reminded me just how much hip hop has a place in my heart. I grew up listening to Tupac, Biggie, Nas, Dre, Ice Cube, Wu-tang, Methodman, Redman, Kalamashaka…just to mention but a few. I love hip hop. And it makes sense.

Art can be defined as works produced by human creative skill and imagination. I love all things art. Music, poetry, paintings, photography and dancing. There is something more past the naked eye that blends with art. It’s how we interpret it, individually. It’s how we pass it on, how music says so much in just a few words. How photographs capture moments beyond words. Music for me, is beyond those few words. It’s the expression of emotion in the lyrics, it’s the poetry.

I strongly believe hip hop is poetry. It might be a song dissing someone, a song praising someone or just a show off song. How many times have you taken time to listen to the words? Think of Talib Kweli and Common. They don’t scream on the mic like the new artists… (Meek Mill) because they don’t have to. It’s simple and understood.  Biggie told his life in his music,

 “ 
No heat, wonder why Christmas missed us
Birthdays was the worst days
Now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay”

I love those words. I think we have all been in situations where you couldn’t even afford something and now you choose when to have it or not.

 I am fascinated by Wale right now and the urban type of hip hop that is seriously close to rnb. Drake seems to be in the same category. Its poetic and it sexy.  The 80’s and 90’s artists would have put it crudely… “You must be used to me spending….”  But now we’re hearing words like “Diced pineapple, Tonight you shall reach a height that the sky won’t catch you”…That song I must say has me listening to it over and over with flushed cheeks. Wale blends poetry and hip hop brilliantly. So just a few lyrics of my one of my favorites: Wale ft Rick Ross and Drake…((Maybach music))…just had to

….PG 25 please

“Diced pineapple,
Tonight you shall reach a height that the sky won’t catch you
The highest form of my admiration
And I ain’t no connoisseur but I’m kinda sure you will admire my taste
But before the sun graze ya
I’m tryin’ to see how deep you are
And believe me shorty I ain’t talking about no intimate conversation
I wanna see if I can make you reach things unobtainable
When I peek into your nature
And I promise you my goals will exceed any physical pleasure
I wanna, give you what’s better than better
The better my effort, the wetter her treasure
The more these mere moments seem like heavens or temporary forevers
Shorty get it together
Diced pineapple
May your love come down so my mind might have you
You designed my imagination
Let me redefine foreplay so you need five and
Tell me shorty you got it baby
If it’s not it baby, hope it’s progress baby
Let it all drip baby
If you stop that shaking, no more talking baby, no more talking bab”

 

 

Living, Lost, Love.

A manual is needed. For this life comes with too many surprises

years and years of experiencing emotion in its different clothes

doesn’t seem enough

Its as if God loves to watch us knocking things down, falling and raising up

then doing it again

we never seem to master our fears

we never seem to win when it comes to love

How can something be so simple

and so impossibly hard?

Why don’t we stay as children

living as dictated by our hearts?

Why the anger, jealousy, hatred?

why the fear to tell him that the smile on his lips makes your stomach sing to a thousand beats?

I am lost in life

few moments I pilgrim in my mind, wandering in places that would render me mad

wondering of the air that I breathe, of the oceans I have no control over, of my heart that sells me out even to the unwilling buyer,

yes I wander in my ”madness”

complicated and confused beyond my imagination

I always finally settle

always still for Love

my own thought remedy for all the world’s problems

my own curse

my world habituates two women

one to keep my sanity and the other to play kati with

two strong women fighting over me

the heart always the optimist, believer and giver

the mind always the thinker, strategic and cautious

I understand fear, I embrace it

I understand excitement, I’ve felt it

and I understand  the surprise of the sudden end of it

but as my heart beats

I can only dance to the rhythm

Love wins.

The crowded bar

Smoke,

 A smell I don’t fancy

 Loud music, Laser lights

 It’s dark

Cologne, blending so well with his smell

 Eye contact and side smiles

Drinks and crowds

Circumventing

There are drunken people letting go

 There are sober ones watching, envying

He’s saying something I have to lean closer

Much closer

Tip toe a bit “you look amazing”

My cheeks flush “thank you”

Warm cheeks

I like this crowded bar

We have to talk close

Our cheeks meet

Our eyes talk more

The occasional hand on shoulder

 The brush of my hair behind my ears

 His touch, fingers

His touch, those eyes

His touch, those cheeks I like this crowded bar

 Nobody cares, Nobody’s watching

No more smiling

Just the sound of my heart beat in my ears

 The spotlight of his gaze

 Am lost

Willingly

In this crowded bar