Happy Thursday

Fearless

Dream and dream it big

of women

Something has been on my mind the last few weeks….Life must be really good and easier as a man. Let me explain. I think of what life would be if I was a man and I pick out a few things that I would need to succeed in this life. Make enough money to be comfortable, for myself and my family later. Have the brains to not be duped, be confident to know what I want and go after it, work out….This is where your comments-the men- will come in handy.
Let me explain where I am coming from. As a girl, I was told I could not do everything my kid brother did. I had to sit proper especially in skirts, not run around climbing things and injuring myself as often as he did. You see, we are drilled-to early in our childhood to act in a certain way in order to be perceived in a certain way. And that some things are just meant for men. At that time, that innocent age, that didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t understand why.
I think of all society’s forceful rules to women, the worst has been in my adult life as a woman. The rules coming from the many cosmopolitans, the self help books, the Think like a lady movies, the women “advising” you before you get married….I could pull my hair out. A woman is such a complex being. We are practically high on two hormones all the time! You cannot imagine what that comes with. The mood swings, the weird emotions, the over thinking and the fact that we talk so much about so many things even just for the sake of taking…We carry a baby for 9 whole months! 9 months of so many things that I have not had a chance to experience. After those months comes the sleepless nights and the permanent stretch marks (someone tell me they are not permanent). And on top of all that, we have to be submissive, not scream at the man walking into the house drunk in the middle of the night because he can’t stand the baby crying or moody me (as told). We have to cook, clean and you cannot deny the conjugal rights of your husband because listening to classic fm will remind you how there is always someone else willing to give what you are not offering. I am really hoping that’s the worst scenario since again, I do not have firsthand experience.
When was the last time you met a married woman who didn’t tell you tales that would render you a nun? You start to picture yourself in a nunnery praying for the souls of the world than succumb to a life of what looks like total misery. And how come they don’t tell you that s* before? When you’re single most people are asking when are you getting married or having a baby…they don’t tell you what you will go through after and how dearly important it is to be ready. Mentally, physically, financially and most of all….with a +1 who makes you feel like its worth it.
So again I come back to, life is surely better as a man. At least you don’t go through the depressing talks of how to be a slave to your wife. How those ‘aunties’ mince their words that as long as he is providing then be easy….Almost makes me wonder if that means the guy can sneak around with a young thing and do whatever he wants as long us money is in the picture. Another one,  the sex education on how to please a man…blah blah blah. Now that’s some s* I don’t want to hear again. What about the woman? Who gets told how to make her happy? The pastors try, the Bible actually got it right. I read somewhere love isn’t about receiving but giving. And I guess that would only work if its both ways. I think the best person to offer marital advice would be your mother, or someone in your life just as her. As for the rest…..enough said.
I live in a world where I work with men, a world where we have women as presidents. In this world, we are almost equals. I don’t believe we are equals though, I wouldn’t want that anyway. But in this world too, having boobs still makes you inferior to others. And society and the people who love us have not taken time to think about the “advice” they give to young girls, growing teenagers and women. Destroying their self esteem. Making them think they have to act in a certain way to be accepted, to be loved. We are told to lose ourselves and not to discover and build ourselves. They don’t teach us about love. Guess that’s the many of the things they leave for life to teach us. But if only we understood it earlier enough, it would be easier to give and in many ways to someone else since it would come from a good place. And not the size of their wallets, life status nor the fear of losing them.
Imagine hearing in bridal showers how it’s like to be loved by a man…(I suspect though some of the brides-to-be might not show up at the altar after.)
Am a hopeless romantic and optimist. Even with the horror stories I am hearing. I watch life, and eat it with a big spoon. I am more cautious though, there is a lot that is routine that society expects from me that I am sure to rebel against.